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New Year's Resolutions: How (Not) to Ruin Relationships in the New Year

Writer's picture: Krešimir SočkovićKrešimir Sočković

New Year's Resolutions Are Like Promises We Make to Ourselves – and Then Forget Before Brewing the First Coffee in January


Photo: AI
Photo: AI

This year, instead of the usual resolutions about losing weight or hitting the gym (which you'll visit more on Google Maps than in real life), why not focus on improving communication with others? Let’s be honest, we could all use fewer "drama scenes" and more "conversations" – whether with family, friends, coworkers, or even that phone glued to our hands.

The History of New Year's Resolutions

Imagine the Babylonians promising their gods to return borrowed plows. If they could keep promises in a world without smartphone reminders, so can we. The Romans, on the other hand, vowed to the god Janus to become better people. Perhaps we, too, should pick a "Janus" in our lives (maybe a coworker?) and promise them we'll stop "sending passive-aggressive emails" or "replying to messages with just 'ok.'"

Common New Year's Resolutions (and How to Turn Them into Communication Goals)

  1. Improving Health: Instead of "I’ll lose weight," say, "I’ll stop using words like 'always' and 'never' in family arguments." That’s the communication equivalent of dieting.

  2. Financial Goals: If you aim to save money, start by saving words at work. Not every passive-aggressive comment from a coworker deserves a response.

  3. Personal Growth: Learn a new skill – like truly listening to someone without planning your reply in advance.

  4. Connecting with Others: Spend more time with family and friends. And less time scrolling your phone during shared meals.

  5. Getting Organized: Start small – like responding to messages that have been sitting in your inbox for over a month. But not while having dinner with your family.

Why Resolutions Often Fail

The problem isn’t the resolutions; it’s us. We’re too ambitious, wanting to change the world when we can’t even reduce our screen time before bed. Also, the lack of a concrete plan often leaves us back where we started – except now we have even more reasons to "hate New Year’s resolutions."

How to Set Realistic Communication Goals

  • Be Specific: Instead of "I’ll be nicer to people," say, "I’ll listen without interrupting" (at least until they finish their sentence!).

  • Make It Measurable: Count how many times you manage to say "no" at work without feeling guilty.

  • Keep It Achievable: Don’t promise to be "available to everyone 24/7." You’re not Wi-Fi.

  • Ensure Relevance: Focus on relationships that matter – family, friends, coworkers. You don’t need to reply to your apartment building group chat at 11:45 PM.

  • Set a Timeframe: Decide how long you’ll stick to your goal before declaring failure. Three months is a reasonable trial period!

Strategies for Success (and Less Drama)

  • Break Goals into Smaller Steps: Start small, like sending one thank-you message daily to a friend or coworker.

  • Track Progress: Note how often you avoid checking your phone during family meals. That’s a real accomplishment.

  • Share Your Goals: Tell friends about your plans, but not the ones who will remind you of every slip-up.

  • Celebrate Small Wins: When you resolve a workplace conflict without passive-aggressive comments, reward yourself (maybe with that cookie you "weren’t going to eat" because of another resolution).

  • Adapt as Needed: If midway through you realize the resolution isn’t working, change your approach. No need to force it.

Examples of Successful Communication Resolutions

  • Someone who decided to say "thank you" instead of "it’s nothing" every time they received a compliment.

  • A couple who introduced the "no texts before coffee" rule to avoid morning arguments.

  • A coworker who stopped replying to everything with "ok" and started giving meaningful responses.

  • A family who created "phone-free zones" during meals to encourage more conversation.

  • A friend who chose to send personal birthday messages instead of quick Facebook posts.

Make Your Resolution

New Year's resolutions about communication are a chance for laughter, growth, and fewer "fights over nothing." If nothing else, at least you can say you tried. After all, we all love a fresh start – especially if it means less "stop staring at your phone" and more "thank you for being here."

Happy New Year and good luck with your resolutions!

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