Be a Communication Boss – With Self-Awareness and Empathy

You know that moment in a meeting when your colleague has been droning on for ten minutes straight, sounding like a seventh grader reading aloud from a physics presentation they didn’t prepare for? And you sit there debating: do you cut him off, or just quietly sneak toward the exit?

That’s when three so-called “soft skills” step in – which, let’s be honest, are anything but soft. They’re self-awareness, empathy, and communication skills. And no, they’re not just fluffy buzzwords for motivational posters or LinkedIn bios. They’re very real abilities that determine whether you’ll be the colleague people respect – or the one they dodge in the hallway.

Photo: AI

Self-Awareness

Do you know who you are when you’re not hungry, exhausted, or stressed out?

Self-awareness is the ability to notice what’s happening in your head and body before you go off the rails. It’s the moment you realize you’re not really mad at your coworker for interrupting you – you’re mad because you spilled coffee on your shirt this morning and skipped breakfast. Or maybe you’re still carrying yesterday’s stress without even noticing it.

Take Iva, for example. She tends to explode when plans change. But once she calms down – often with the help of a donut – she realizes that sudden changes make her feel like she’s losing control. When she names it, instead of yelling, she starts suggesting solutions. That’s not magic – that’s self-awareness.

How to build it:

Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings, especially when something throws you off.

Ask yourself: “What’s really bothering me here?” – it’s often not what you think.

Watch how you react in conflicts. Those moments teach the most.

And the boldest move: ask people close to you how they see you. Then actually listen.

Self-awareness doesn’t mean overanalyzing yourself 24/7. It means catching your inner state before it hijacks the conversation.

Empathy

Listening without secretly rehearsing your reply while the other person is still talking.

Empathy isn’t: “I know how you feel,” while mentally writing your grocery list. It’s not: “C’mon, let’s grab a beer, you’ll feel better.” Empathy is the ability to pause and really hear someone – without rushing to fix, advise, or cheer them up.

Take Mark. He always says, “Ah, it’s nothing.” He’s not mean – but he’s not empathetic either. Ana, on the other hand, will say: “Sounds like that was really tough. Want to just sit in silence for a bit?” – and instantly you feel lighter.

Empathy doesn’t ask you to repair. It asks you to be there. And often, that’s enough.

How to practice empathy:

Stay quiet while the other person talks. That’s not passivity, that’s respect.

Don’t compare their pain to yours. Your “hard” doesn’t cancel out their “hard.”

Notice what isn’t said – tone, eyes, body language often say more than words.

Practice presence. Be there to be, not to do.

In the workplace, empathy is what separates a boss who commands from a leader people actually trust.

Communication

The skill that separates leaders from people who write mile-long emails with zero point.

Good communication isn’t everyone nodding just because you’re the loudest voice in the room. It’s not blasting a Slack message with four bullet points and five exclamation marks. Real communication is when people understand what you mean – and you understand them, too.

It takes clarity, active listening, and emotional intelligence. And the ability not to treat every comment as a personal attack.

A good communicator isn’t the one who talks the most. It’s the one who knows when – and how – to speak. And even more importantly – when to listen.

How to sharpen your communication:

Use “I-statements”: the difference between “You’re irresponsible” and “I feel frustrated when deadlines slip” is huge.

Ask instead of assuming. If a report’s late, maybe there’s a reason you don’t see.

Listen to understand, not to reload your argument.

Practice giving feedback: honest, clear, but not aggressive.

Communication isn’t a weapon to dominate. It’s a bridge. And the sturdier the bridge, the less shouting you need.

When all three come together…

Imagine someone who can read their own emotions, listen without judgment, and share their views clearly – without crushing you in the process. That’s not a character in a self-help novel. That’s someone who’s committed to working on themselves – consistently, consciously, and patiently.

Put self-awareness, empathy, and communication together and you get:

A colleague who knows when to stop and just listen.

A manager who brings out the best in the team.

A partner who doesn’t yell when you fall off your bike, but brings the bandages.

It doesn’t happen by accident. It’s training. Like everything that matters, it takes time, attention, and practice. The good news? It’s doable. And worth every second.

Where do you stand?

Think you’re a great communicator? Here’s a challenge: when was the last time you asked a coworker how they were – and truly listened to the answer?

Self-awareness tells you where you are. Empathy shows you where others are. Communication connects the two – so you’re not just shouting at each other from your separate ego-towers.

So next time your boss pings you at 10:43 p.m., take a breath, remember your superpowers, and say:

“I can see he cares… but I also care about my sleep.”

You don’t need to become a guru. Just a bit more human. One step, one sentence at a time.