Empathy at the Office – How to Say “I Messed Up” and “Sorry”?

Picture this: your boss walks in and says, “Hey, I really screwed up yesterday. My fault.”Did you just drop your coffee? Probably. Because in most companies, that happens about as often as spotting Bigfoot riding a unicorn during a solar eclipse.

Photo: AI

But here’s the thing – the workplace is changing. These days, people quit over Zoom in sweatpants, send Slack messages from the bathroom, and work from camper vans by the beach. Old-school “command and control” doesn’t cut it anymore. The new style isn’t being the Terminator of management – it’s knowing how to say “sorry,” “how are you?” and “yep, I’m the one who nuked that spreadsheet.”

Empathy – not just for therapists or grandmas

Empathy at the office doesn’t mean handing out tissues like a flight attendant during turbulence. It means noticing when a colleague is staring at their screen like it’s a horror movie, and asking: “You doing okay?” before “Are you done with the deck?” (Spoiler: they’re not.)

It’s when a manager realizes someone’s late not because they’re lazy, but because their kid has chickenpox, their dog fought with a hedgehog, or their mental health decided to take a long weekend. Empathy means you don’t immediately jump to judgment. You pause. You ask. And—brace yourself—you listen.

Real scene: Jane is late with her report. Her boss texts her at 10:14 p.m.: “Still waiting on those numbers.”Jane replies: “Can I send them tomorrow? I’ve been at the hospital all day with my dad.” Boss sends 🤦 and replies: “Of course. Sorry, take care.” That boss? That boss lives rent-free in Jane’s inbox as a good memory.

Sorry – the tiny word that saves huge headaches

Saying sorry at work? Practically unheard of. Usually, if you mess up, you get a PowerPoint with your mistakes highlighted in angry red, or worse—mandatory “training” that’s basically detention for adults.

But forgiveness at work doesn’t mean “let’s all sit in beanbags and share our feelings.” It means admitting we’re human. And humans… well, we screw up. Sometimes you forget to send the proposal. Sometimes you write the wrong client name (and yes, it’s also on the branded mugs you ordered). Sometimes you start an email with “Dear Mrs.” instead of “Dear Mr.”—and no, civilization won’t collapse.

Here’s the kicker: when people know they won’t be crucified for mistakes, they’ll actually take risks. They’ll ask questions. They’ll innovate. They’ll try stuff. And that’s how companies grow.

Owning mistakes – the new power move

Forget the old “alpha leader” who never admits fault. The new rockstar manager? The one who says: “This chaos? That’s on me. Sorry. ”That’s when the team replies: “No worries,” even if you just sent a client a budget with an extra zero—turning 5,000 into 50,000 euros. Whoops.

You know what people can’t stand? Leaders who always blame “the system,” “the other team,” or “the version I never saw.” You know what people do respect? Authenticity. Even if it’s clumsy.

Science backs this up: the “Pratfall Effect.” People like you more if you’re competent but occasionally trip up. Perfection is suspicious. Humanity sells.

Fear-free workplaces = better work

Imagine a company where it’s safe to make mistakes. Not a joke—actually safe. Where you’re not treated like a fugitive from the Ministry of Errors every time you miss a number. These companies exist. And they know mistakes are the fastest way to learn.

Take Toyota. Employees there can pull the cord and stop the entire production line if they see a problem. Nobody screams “Do you know how much that costs?!” Instead, it’s: “Thanks for catching it.” Hide a mistake, and it multiplies. Admit it, and you fix it.

Empathy in remote teams – digital mind-reading required

Hybrid and remote work makes empathy trickier. You can’t see faces, hear sighs, or tell if your coworker is angry, exhausted, or just hangry (and yes, hunger and anger are siblings).

That’s why it’s even more important to:

• Send proper messages (not just “??” but “Hey, just checking if you had a chance to review.”)

• Ask how people are—and listen.

• Leave three minutes in Zoom for “Hey, how are you?” before diving into spreadsheets.

How to build humanity into a company (without sounding like forced fun)

It’s not enough to slap “Be empathetic” on the wall. You’ve got to live it. Not just during crises when everyone shares chocolate and heart emojis in Teams. Always. Here’s how:

• Onboarding – teach communication, active listening, and how to say “sorry” without dying of shame.

• Feedback – include emotional context. Not just “missed the deadline,” but also “was clearly trying, something was off.”

• Recognition – reward the people who help teammates, not just the solo stars.

But what if someone keeps screwing up—and always gets forgiven?

That’s where balance matters. Empathy doesn’t mean endless free passes. If someone keeps “forgetting,” doesn’t learn, and hides behind “I’m only human,” that’s not a mistake—it’s a habit. And habits need feedback. Honest, calm, human feedback.

A boss who says “sorry” outlasts the office fridge

People don’t quit companies because of budgets, open-plan offices, or bad coffee. They leave because of relationships. Because they feel unseen. Or because perfection is demanded from them while the boss forgets the whole team’s birthdays and laughs it off.

So if you’re a leader, manager, founder, or just the person who keeps spamming calendar invites—remember: the phrase “I messed up” might be your strongest leadership tool. And “How are you today?”—your best management strategy.

And hey—if you forgot a task today, we get it. Just don’t make it a habit tomorrow.