How to Be Persuasive?

How often have you tried to convince someone to do something, only to be met with a raised eyebrow and a “Seriously?” Persuasion is everywhere, whether you're leading a team, pitching an idea, or just trying to talk your friend into watching one more episode.

Photo: AI

The good news? Persuasion isn’t some mystical skill reserved for salespeople and politicians. It’s knowledge—and it can be learned.

The Six Golden Rules of Persuasion

Robert Cialdini, an American psychologist and author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, studied what gets people to say “yes.” His six principles are used everywhere—from marketing and politics to everyday conversations.

Reciprocity: When someone gives you something—even something tiny—you feel the urge to give something back. That’s why donation letters come with stickers or postcards before asking for money.

Consistency: If people take one small step (like signing a petition), they’re more likely to take a bigger one later (like donating). We like to stay consistent with our past actions.

Social Proof: If most people say something is good, chances are we’ll want it too. That’s why we love reviews, star ratings, and “Bestseller” tags.

Liking: we’re more easily persuaded by people we like. Shared interests, compliments, or a similar communication style help build that all-important trust.

Authority: Wear a lab coat, and people will listen. Symbols of expertise—titles, uniforms, experience—often carry more weight than the actual message.

Scarcity: If something is “only 3 left in stock” or “available today only,” it instantly feels more valuable. We hate the idea of missing out.

How Do We Make Decisions?

Daniel Kahneman, Nobel-winning psychologist and author of Thinking, Fast and Slow, explains that we have two systems of thinking: one fast and intuitive, the other slow and analytical.

Fast Brain (System 1) makes snap decisions. Great for everyday stuff, but easily tricked by “limited-time offers” and “best sellers.”

Slow Brain (System 2) Pauses, reflects, analyses. It’s the one that asks, “Hold on... is this smart?”

Kahneman also highlights two common mental traps:

Anchoring – The first thing you hear becomes your reference point. Show someone a €5,000 watch first, and suddenly the €500 one feels like a bargain.

Framing – How you say something matters. “90% survival rate” sounds comforting. “10% mortality rate”? Not so much—even though it’s the same thing.

Everyday Negotiation Tactics

Chris Voss, former FBI lead hostage negotiator, brought his high-stakes techniques into everyday conversations—and they work surprisingly well.

Mirroring: Repeat the last few words someone says. It builds a connection and shows you’re listening.

Labelling Emotions: Saying things like “That sounds stressful” can instantly lower tension. Naming feelings helps people understand—and manage—them.

The “No Deal” Tactic: When you show that you're willing to walk away, people take you more seriously. You’re not threatening—just showing your boundaries.

Why Some Ideas Go Viral

Malcolm Gladwell, in The Tipping Point, explains how small changes lead to big results—if they happen at the right time and with the right people. He identifies three types of people who spark tipping points:

Connectors – The ones who seem to know everyone. They build bridges and networks effortlessly.

Mavens – Information junkies who love sharing knowledge. When they recommend something, we listen.

Salespeople – Bursting with contagious energy and enthusiasm. When they talk, it's hard to say “no.”

Put them together around the right idea—and boom. Tipping point.

Berger’s Ingredients for Shareable Content

Jonah Berger, marketing professor and author of Contagious, researched what makes content go viral (for good reasons).

Social Currency We share things that make us look smart, funny, or helpful. If it boosts our image, that share button gets tapped.

Triggers: Everyday cues spark associations. Say “coffee”, and you think of that meme. Say “Friday” and—yep—that song plays in your head.

Emotion: Big feelings lead to big shares. Whether it’s a heartwarming story, shocking news, or a laugh-out-loud moment, emotion drives content.

So… What Does This Mean for Me?

Persuasion isn’t manipulation. It’s about understanding how people think, feel, and decide. When you learn how to push the right buttons, you communicate better, pitch stronger, and reach goals faster—no pressure, no gimmicks, no smoke and mirrors.

Try these principles in conversations, emails, and social posts. You don’t have to be a persuasion wizard—just someone who understands how people tick.

Because the best persuasion doesn’t feel like pushing. It feels like someone lighting up and saying: “Sounds great. I’m in.”